Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Fall Off Seven Times?? For Real?

They say that falling off seven times makes you a real equestrian. I beg to differ!
(I can honestly say I have no idea how many times I've fallen off in my life, that would be interesting to know, then I could make it my lucky number! Probably in the 20's or 30's somewhere! Since the age of six...)

Check out this humorous list of 10 simple exercises that will help you become a better equestrian.

10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout, "Get off, Stupid, GET OFF!"

9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll tightly into a ball and spring to your feet.

8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.

7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.

6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a halt. Smile as if you are having fun.

5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See hon, moving hay bales is FUN!" and "No, really, I'm glad your lucky performance and multimillion dollar horse won the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won me second place."

4. Practice dialing your chiropractor' s number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be -- bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...

2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience, this is ..."


"Who? ME?"


  1. You are SO RIGHT! I love these, especially #8! Seems like I did that a LOT last summer!

  2. Oh My Goddness!! You made my morning! Those are all so very, very true.

    I love the face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes!


  3. I agree with the marry money part. It sure would help!

    Getting bucked off sure makes you stick it harder the next time.

    I am on number 4 :)

  4. #6 ROFL!

    I LOVE the bottom pic!!! You better frame that one!

  5. Thanks for the giggle! Very cute (and unfortunately also very true!)

  6. Too Funny! Sure would have made things easier if I married money, but wouldn't give up my GH for anything! At least he gets my love for horses.

    Thanks for sharing.

  7. You get the glory! You made me LOL and I was only at #9!!

  8. SEVEN TIMES???!! I'd be dead!

    I've only fallen twice. The first off of a buckin' pony. Just bruised my hip something terrible.

    And the second fall was last Christmas (as you know). I don't know what I was thinking, but I just believed that if I fell I'd never be injured more than a few bruises and sore muscles.

    Boy! Was I wrong!


  9. NOW you tell me to marry money. Where were you 13 years ago when I married for love?


    Ah well. Next life, I'm going to be a trust fund baby.

  10. Those are all just as true here in the UK as they are where you are. The language of Equus is the same whereever you are.

    I was nodding and giggling whilst reading all of the above.

    I just wish falling off only seven times did make you a real equestrian. If that were the case then I could have stopped falling off long ago!

  11. Mindy,

    WOW! I saw your beaded shoes on WET! How talented you are! How do you do that? Can you give us a lesson on your blog? With my DH being a Farrier...we do have some extra shoes laying around!

  12. That is wonderful. I couldn't stop laughing! Do we get extra horsemanship points if the horse steps on our foot and pushes us down, (still standing on our foot), while he starts to eat dinner? (wouldn't you know it was a horse called Rowdy that did that one to me)
    I enjoyed the list!

  13. What a great list! All true and all very funny.


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~Slainte' Mhath!