Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Last Night.....

Last Night....

As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked sensed my indifference, so you started to bite my body without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me crazy while you sucked me dry.

Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.

My body still shows your marks, making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for soon as you appear I will quickly grab you and won't let you go, will hold you with all my strength so you won't disappear. Won't rest until I squeeze your blood

Freakin' mosquito.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Up the Downhill

Hello dear readers! Yes, all, (ahem) five of you! Yes, it has been awhile since my last post, and many things have gone on. I will highlight a couple here, but won't bore you with the other tales of woe! First and foremost, I am in the midst of losing my best doggie friend. My right hand girl Dakota turned sixteen in April. I have had her since she was five weeks old in Key West, and she is declining rapidly. She can barely walk, and every few days is incontinent in the house. Sometimes she gets stuck in the dog door in the middle of the night. I am constantly sleep deprived as I listen with one ear open for telltale noises of distress. I give her anti-inflammatories, pain medicine (just in case, although she doesn't seem to be in pain) and MSM, Chondroitin, Vitamin C and Calcium. Easily $200 a month. Not that it matters. Here's the thing. I don't have the nerve to make the appointment to end it. I feel like I should don a black grim reaper's robe and wear that when I take her. And when I think on it too hard, I end up sobbing. It would be so much easier if she were in pain, then the decision would be made because I WON'T endure my baby hurting. I find that so many people while giving lip service to what is happening, are inwardly thinking, "Sixteen years, what is she complaining about?" I know I'm lucky to have been blessed with her for so long, but it makes it almost harder. She is two years older than my son. She has been through EVERYTHING with me....

Lots of other really cruddy things have also been going on, but I won't bore you here. But I am defintiely at an all time low! E-mails are 200+ long, and I just paid the bills, which are (thankfully) not late! A good thing that happened was that I was able to meet our fellow blogger Winter from HorseCentric . Since she came my way for a clinic, I was able to set her up to stay with one of my friends for two nights. Much to my regret, I was only able to have dinner with her the night she came in. My car decided that it wanted to DIE on a hill in the middle of nowhere on the way to said dinner (in the pouring rain)! I had wanted to attend her clinic very badly on the last day, and even though I had my car back, since it was storming and they hadn't found a thing wrong with my car?????, I decided not to chance an hour drive in a torrential downpour not knowing what my car might do! Also, it was not conducted in a covered arena. While I would have liked to have been there for Winter, standing in a thunderstorm auditing a clinic sounded, well, you know, decidedly not fun! Hopefully Winter won't give up on me and we can ride together soon!

                                        Sleep. Sounds good.

On the horsey front. Jackson and I are plugging away at our lessons and working at first level in order to reach that (closer all the time!) goal of  making it to a show this year. A few jumps here and there, but I haven't been building them so I've just been practicing lots of two point when I get the chance. My last lesson we worked on lengthening which was pretty cool once I got it! Or the concept anyway! On Tuesday, Linda and I went on a trail ride, and I finally rode her BIG Red Horse, Red, a Missouri Foxtrotter. He is 16.3 and I  felt like I was doing a split. It wasn't the height, he is a bit, ahem, FAT. He has lost quite a bit of weight, (he wasn't Linda's main mount until recently) and finally doesn't break into that white frothy sweat between his legs after five minutes! He did break into this really nasty pace that you could not sit or post while riding him. I hated it! It wasn't what you want out of a horse like that, but the Foxtrotter gate is a creature in and of itself, and his owner rarely gets him to do it. It was so uncomfortable, I'm pretty sure he made it up on his own! If you've ever ridden a really nice gaited horse, then you know that it is one of the most sublime do- nothing rides you could have. Post a trot? Why? Canter? Oh. I am? It feels like I'm in a rocking chair. Yeah. This wasn't that! FAR, FAR from that! I could sense immense POWER if he really went, but he was a good boy and his Kimberwick offered comfort, especially when Linda took off at a canter riding Jackson across a big field without us, and he had aspirations of trying a new racing career! So here I am. Getting on with the everyday living thing..... My glass is neither half empty nor half full. Gotta take a big long drink from the hose and move on!

Jackson in his snazzy new halter and Red being nosy (his main job!).....