Friday, May 14, 2010

Up the Downhill

Hello dear readers! Yes, all, (ahem) five of you! Yes, it has been awhile since my last post, and many things have gone on. I will highlight a couple here, but won't bore you with the other tales of woe! First and foremost, I am in the midst of losing my best doggie friend. My right hand girl Dakota turned sixteen in April. I have had her since she was five weeks old in Key West, and she is declining rapidly. She can barely walk, and every few days is incontinent in the house. Sometimes she gets stuck in the dog door in the middle of the night. I am constantly sleep deprived as I listen with one ear open for telltale noises of distress. I give her anti-inflammatories, pain medicine (just in case, although she doesn't seem to be in pain) and MSM, Chondroitin, Vitamin C and Calcium. Easily $200 a month. Not that it matters. Here's the thing. I don't have the nerve to make the appointment to end it. I feel like I should don a black grim reaper's robe and wear that when I take her. And when I think on it too hard, I end up sobbing. It would be so much easier if she were in pain, then the decision would be made because I WON'T endure my baby hurting. I find that so many people while giving lip service to what is happening, are inwardly thinking, "Sixteen years, what is she complaining about?" I know I'm lucky to have been blessed with her for so long, but it makes it almost harder. She is two years older than my son. She has been through EVERYTHING with me....

Lots of other really cruddy things have also been going on, but I won't bore you here. But I am defintiely at an all time low! E-mails are 200+ long, and I just paid the bills, which are (thankfully) not late! A good thing that happened was that I was able to meet our fellow blogger Winter from HorseCentric . Since she came my way for a clinic, I was able to set her up to stay with one of my friends for two nights. Much to my regret, I was only able to have dinner with her the night she came in. My car decided that it wanted to DIE on a hill in the middle of nowhere on the way to said dinner (in the pouring rain)! I had wanted to attend her clinic very badly on the last day, and even though I had my car back, since it was storming and they hadn't found a thing wrong with my car?????, I decided not to chance an hour drive in a torrential downpour not knowing what my car might do! Also, it was not conducted in a covered arena. While I would have liked to have been there for Winter, standing in a thunderstorm auditing a clinic sounded, well, you know, decidedly not fun! Hopefully Winter won't give up on me and we can ride together soon!

                                        Sleep. Sounds good.

On the horsey front. Jackson and I are plugging away at our lessons and working at first level in order to reach that (closer all the time!) goal of  making it to a show this year. A few jumps here and there, but I haven't been building them so I've just been practicing lots of two point when I get the chance. My last lesson we worked on lengthening which was pretty cool once I got it! Or the concept anyway! On Tuesday, Linda and I went on a trail ride, and I finally rode her BIG Red Horse, Red, a Missouri Foxtrotter. He is 16.3 and I  felt like I was doing a split. It wasn't the height, he is a bit, ahem, FAT. He has lost quite a bit of weight, (he wasn't Linda's main mount until recently) and finally doesn't break into that white frothy sweat between his legs after five minutes! He did break into this really nasty pace that you could not sit or post while riding him. I hated it! It wasn't what you want out of a horse like that, but the Foxtrotter gate is a creature in and of itself, and his owner rarely gets him to do it. It was so uncomfortable, I'm pretty sure he made it up on his own! If you've ever ridden a really nice gaited horse, then you know that it is one of the most sublime do- nothing rides you could have. Post a trot? Why? Canter? Oh. I am? It feels like I'm in a rocking chair. Yeah. This wasn't that! FAR, FAR from that! I could sense immense POWER if he really went, but he was a good boy and his Kimberwick offered comfort, especially when Linda took off at a canter riding Jackson across a big field without us, and he had aspirations of trying a new racing career! So here I am. Getting on with the everyday living thing..... My glass is neither half empty nor half full. Gotta take a big long drink from the hose and move on!

Jackson in his snazzy new halter and Red being nosy (his main job!).....


  1. No problems, girl, I certainly wouldn't sit out there in the rain.

    I understand where you are about your pup. Only you will know when it's time. I've had to escort my three "lifers" (dogs just don't have heart attacks, I guess), and it's never easy.

    I've ridden a gaited horse a few times, it's an odd sensation.

  2. I think you'll know when it's time to say goodbye. I've been through it with a couple pets.It's hard.

  3. So sorry about your fur baby. Our little sweet Chihuahua died a week before her sixteenth birthday. She had had seizures for 6 months and her heart just gave out. she was my husbands dog and waited until he came home and died in his arms. This little girl was our bestest of the best dogs, we loved her so. It's a hard, hard thing to say good-bye to our pets.
    I think most vets will come to your home, ours do around here, it makes it so much easier for the pet. It, however, is NEVER ever easy for us.
    My prayers are with you and your family.

  4. Aww, so sorry to hear about your dog. It's so hard for us to let their bodies go, we so need that physical-ness of them. Somehow knowing that they will always be with us in spirit just isn't enough. I do know that she is good with what ever choice you make when ever you make it. Animals aren't afraid to die, and I think sometimes are relieved to be able to let their aches and pains go, but they don't want to leave us behind in distress. I'm sure she knows you love her, and she loves you, and in the end that's all that matters. And that's what will last forever.

  5. Sorry to hear about your dog. Making that kind of a decision is never easy. Albigears is right, whatever time is right for you will be right for your dog. Don't add further stress to any already stressful situation by second guessing yourself. That will only make it harder.

  6. So sorry to hear about your dog! I have a dog that is 16 years and 8 months old. He's plugging away. He doesn't get up so good, he is occasionally incontinent as well, and he is sometimes senile (stands there barking at me for no reason). He was my first dog that was all mine, and he's been a part of all of my adult life.

    So I understand where you are coming from. Yes, 16 is a long time to live, but there's nothing wrong with being selfish and hoping they give us just a few more happy months with them.

  7. Oh Mindy, I am with your heart that aches for your sweet doggie...I still cry over loosing Elsie girl and today my neighbor asked me about how we were doing...I burst out right there again! I relate sleep for sooo long..hearing= as a mothers listens in the night.
    When they share your life and are apart of your heart, you can't help but have a place that hurts when they go. No suffering is my motto. That is my regret with Elsie girl... Though she is residing in the mansion above now...having a better time of it than I am here! She loves you as much as you love her..I know that!

    So glad you met A fellow blogger...soo cool! What a highlight!
    You hang in...emotional stuff realloy takes a toll, and make sure to give yourself time to grieve..instead of coving your life with all sorts of'll wear out! Sounds lie you are tired now my sweet friend. Please bow out of what you can and take time for you. Jackson needs you too...special boy!
    Love you Mindy!

  8. I'm so sorry. Saying goodbye to a beloved pet is never easy. I've had to do that several times nd I had to listen to the thinking side of my heart when the time came and not second guess myself. Sometimes just looking into your pet's eyes will give you the answer when the time is near to bid farewell.
    Hugs for you.

    I'm glad you've had some adventures on horseback, though, and even met a fellow blogger pal. I wish you were able to go to that clinic, though and that your vehicle wasn't acting so unreliable. Sure hope it can be figured out what's going on with it, too.

    Hang in there and take good care of yourself,

  9. Thanks for all your comments gals! They really helped a lot, especially letting me know that whatever I decide she is OK with, and not to second guess myself and add more stress which I WAS DOING SO BAD! I feel so much more at peace thanks to all of your words of wisdom and caring.
    Thanks AGAIN guys!


Please leave your comments here! I am always happy to hear from all of you in the form of advice, encouragement or questions!
~Slainte' Mhath!