Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A Horse's View of the World...
A Horse's View of the World
Do you ever wonder what your horse is actually thinking? How often have you ever wondered if you are on the same page or even talking the same language? Take a look at some of the definitions from the horse's dictionary and compare them to yours.
Arena: Place where humans can take the fun out of forward motion.
Bit: Means by which a rider's every motion is transmitted to the sensitive tissues of the mouth.
Crossties: Gymnastic apparatus.
Dressage: Process by which some riders can eventually be taught to respect the bit.
Fence: Barrier that protects good grazing.
Grain: Sole virtue of domestication.
Hitching rail: Means by which to test one's strength.
Horse trailer: Mobile cave bear den.
Hotwalker: The lesser of two evils.
Jump: An opportunity for self-expression.
Latch: Type of puzzle.
Longeing: Procedure for keeping a prospective rider at bay.
Owner: Human assigned responsibility for one's feeding.
Rider: Owner overstepping its bounds.
Farrier: Disposable surrogate owner; useful for acting out aggression without compromising food supply.
Trainer: Owner with mob connections.
Veterinarian: Flightless albino vulture
Only Horse People…
- believe in an 11th commandment: inside leg to outside rein...
- know that all topical medications come in either indelible blue or neon yellow.
- think nothing of eating a sandwich while mucking out a stall.
- know why a thermometer has a yard of yarn attached to the end of it.
- are banned from Laundromats.
- fail to associate whips, chains and leather with sexual deviancy.
- can magically lower their voices five octaves to bellow at a pawing horse.
- will end relationships over their hobby.
- cluck to their cars to help them up hills.
- insure their horses for more than their cars.
- know (and care) more about their horse's nutrition than their own.
- have no problem speaking of semen, abscesses and colic surgery at the dinner table.
- have a smaller wardrobe than their horse..
- engage in a hobby that is more work than their day job.
- know that a good ride is better than Zoloft any day.
Haven't posted in awhile....nothing much going on. Just getting through the doldrums of winter, praying for spring to hit early this year, and for the rain to stay away! I always get a bit down and home bound-ish this time of year, but it is nowhere nearly as bad as it used to be up North. I think I suffer from S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder), so if I had to exist up there again, I am convinced I would need light therapy. For REAL. Had one awesome dressage lesson in which Allison told me that my form no longer needs the work (hell-a!)--she is now ready to turn Jackson and I into superstars! OK... That was her wording NOT mine! But lo and behold, it was a breakthrough lesson and Jackson rounded himself up, had impulsion from the hind end, and got his head out of the sky, looking for all intents and purposes like a REAL dressage horse! It was an arm pumping lesson, all of our work was shown to me right there in his headset. It needs to dry up and it is time to start working on the superstar part!! AKA: MINDY WANTS TO JUMP!!!! (AND SO DOES THE J-MAN! He whispered it in my ear! :)